Hello china!

31 120 kilometers later and I’m finally in Beijing.

The eight hours to Dubai were so lovely. I had four seats to myself, a nyummy dinner (missed breakfast because I was passed out) and watched the new Romeo and Juliet (avs), Anchorman 2 (brilliant) and the new jbiebs movie (don’t judge me). All in all it was quite enjoyable.

But then EK 306 happened. This was meant to be my time to rest and get ready the first bit of my Chinese adventure. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always turn out the way you plan it in your mind.

Instead of a quiet six and a half hour flight, I was continuously attacked by the human octopus sitting behind me, lived through Footgate and experienced the worst turbulence ever in life. Ever.

First of all, the man sitting behind me jammed his knees and feet into the back of my chair so many times and in so many different areas (at the same time) ย that it was impossible for him to have anything less than eight legs. I was poked and prodded like some poor animal having cosmetics tested on it.

The second horror was Footgate.
As I walked towards my assigned seat my heart fell a little when I saw that I was seated next to people this time instead of by myself like the first flight. I got over it because they were relatively small and friendly looking. I sat down and started scrolling through the movies trying to pick between Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 or Hercules (Both. Both is good)

Then it happened. The husband of the husband and wife duo I was seated next to whipped out his leg, stretched it across his wife and placed his foot right next to my tray table. An inflamed, red, crusty foot just chilling next to where I was supposed to eat my food from.

What even…?

I was done. I nearly cried.

And he left it there for majority of the flight. I think my eyes conveyed my inner terror because his wife covered it up with a blanket after awhile. The poor soul probably had gout or something because it looked incredibly painful but still… Not my preferred way to spend hours cooped up in a tin can with wings.

In the end I survived Footgate, mental scars and all.

Then there was the approach for landing.

“Crew take your seats” uttered a terse voice over the announcement system. No ‘please’. No ‘as we are landing’. Just “take your seats”. More like take your last breath of life. #jesustakethePRNDL
The turbulence was so bad that it felt as if they pilot was playing bumper cars on his way down through the Beijing smog. I think those tense 15 minutes rate as the number two moment that I’ve prayed the most in my life.

**spoiler alert**

We made it and I nearly kissed the ground when I reached it.

I eventually found my way to the Envision tour group after nearly losing my laptop bag with my money, passport and basically my entire life packed inside it in the process. Now I’m lounging in the lobby of the the Chang An Grand Hotel using the free wifi ๐Ÿ˜€

It’s been a hectic 40ish hours since I left Durban but now that I’m here it feels like it was so worth it. I’ll get a proper first feel of Beijing tomorrow morning when we visit the Forbidden City and Tiananmen Square.

Stay sweet errybodaaay

Ps facebook won’t load over here so apologies for the lack of updates.

 

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