She lay sprawled across the couch with her notepad wedged under her right shoulder and a pen hanging limply between her fingers. Fingers which had grown cramped and numb from hours of scribbled phrases, scrawled out notions given up on half way through and scratched out inklings of ideas.
She stared dejectedly up at the ceiling.
The plain, beige paint, usually so banal and ignored, now grabbed every inch of her attention. Tiny cracks in the plaster carried her eyes from corner to corner. The brushstrokes left behind by some forgotten painter become intensely intoxicating in the milky, white light seeping across the roof from the long, industrial looking light bulb in the kitchen.
“I need to start this assignment.” She thought forlornly.
The monkey on her shoulder was back again. Its whispered threats of failure and disappointment became an incessant track on loop which thumped ceaselessly at her eardrums.
The monkey’s fervent threats stirred up a droplet of panic within her. It was a droplet which steadily grew inside the spot in her chest, just below her sternum and just to the left of her heart, which was especially reserved for moments of mounting unease such as this. A spot which had, over time, become increasingly familiar with situations of anxiety brought on by the uncomfortable thought of failure.
The pressure in her chest made her shift; subconsciously trying to shake the unremitting monkey off of her back. Paper from the discarded notepad crumpled under the movement. The sound was a crisp reminder of the work she had not started, of the assignment she had yet to complete, and of the task she could fail.
She shifted again.
Re-tensed fingers gripped once more onto the pen.
She sat up.
She tried again. Pen touched paper and a blotch of black ink oozed out of the overworked nib. But nothing worthwhile oozed out of her mind.
The page remained blank. She was blocked.
Just as human beings across the earth will argue about the existence of God; writers will argue about the existence of Writers Block. Continue reading